My wonderful adventure had begun nearly 12 years before the actual events of October 2001. I became interested in tracing my family after seeing a photo of my great grandparents taken in the early 1900s. About the same time I was given my great grandmother's book of poetry - poetry she had written over nearly 50 years of her life. I set about transcribing her handwritten words and compiling her thoughts and feelings into a book, hoping to share it with other family members. That was the simple goal I set for myself. Little did I know it would take on a life of its own and change the direction of my life and offer me a new career.Left: The photo that started it all
It took me nearly a year to decipher the faded ink, handwriting and spelling in the old oak-tag covered book. To say that it was an adventure would be an understatement. As I progressed through the pages I became familiar with Teresa' handwriting and style. More importantly I felt I was beginning to know the person as well. It was as if she was unfolding before me page by page, much like a character in a novel. But, she was real, she was my ancestor, and her blood is in my veins.
Upon completion of the transcription I wrote an introduction and some of the limited history I had accumulated about the family. My great grandmother had a hard life with so much pain and sorrow I found it hard to understand how she survived it all. She was apparently an orphan, born March 1, 1847, supposedly in Brandon, VT. She was taken in by Harvey and Rebecca (Brown) Stearns sometime before the 1850 census in Walpole, Cheshire County, NH when she is listed as Teresa Stearns, age three years. This idyllic family lasted but three more years.Harvey Stearns died in March of 1853, leaving his widow and 6-year old Teresa.
Rebecca remained a widow until June of 1857 when she married Ira Emery, himself a widower. The same month Teresa was legally adopted by Ira and Rebecca (Brown) (Stearns) Emery. He name was legally changed from Teresa Eliza Henderson to Teresa Rebecca Emery. But this too was short-lived as Ira died in 1859, just two years after his marriage and the adoption of Teresa. Rebecca then died in 1864 leaving Teresa alone in the world at the age of seventeen.
On 7 May 1861 Hoxxey enlisted in the 2nd Vermont Volunteers, to fight in the Civil War. After serving four four years, and being wounded in 1862 at Fredricksberg, VA, he mustered out as a full Sargent.
Left: 1861
Right: 1865
Then, in August of 1865, Hoxxey Barber, born 1842 in Mount Holly, Vermont came home from the Civil War a hero having served four years with the Vermont Volunteers. Hoxxey and Teresa were married on 11 August 1865in Westminster, VT and began what they hoped would be a
better life. My research was now getting interesting. I searched for their burial place for some time, only to discover that it was an unmarked grave in the Village Cemetery in Walpole, NH. I then set another goal - to mark their grave so they would not rest in obscurity forever.I completed my book, copyrighted it in 1990 then printed copies for all my cousins and the local historical societies where the couple had lived. I stated my goal of marking the grave in the introduction of the poetry book. At times over the following 11 years I wondered if I had set an unattainable goal. After looking into the cost of a headstone I was shocked by the cost. After approaching some cousins about contributing it was obvious that I could not raise enough money to fulfill the goal.
As time went on I began to teach genealogical classes at a local community college and became "addicted" to genealogy I visited libraries, courthouses, and research facilities every spare moment I could find. A new career was blossoming for me ass a genealogical lecturer and author! One thing led to another and I found myself working at The New England Historic Genealogical Society in Boston, MA. This proved to be a valuable step in achieving my goal.
One day, while sharing my research with a fellow librarian, David Lambert, I learned that I could apply to the US government for a military stone to mark Hoxxey's grave. My quest was on again!! I obtained the forms from the local Veteran's Administration Office and went about filling in all of the data required.
The form required a signature from the cemetery department indicating what type of stone was acceptable. I sent off the form and started the long wait. I checked in with David on a regular basis as he had also applied for a stone about the same time. We were both under the impression it could take several years to process.
Several years went by and after several disappointing visits to the grave site - still no stone! In the spring of 2001 David announced that his stone had arrived and been set on his ancestor's grave. It wouldn't be long now - or so I thought!
After a few more months went by I located a telephone number for the Veteran's gravestone application office in Washington, DC . I called to check the status only to learn that they never got the application! Devastated but not defeated I asked what I needed to do. The helpful women sent out new forms to me and stated that it should not take more than six months to get the stone ordered, carved, and erected in the cemetery. If I had only known that five years earlier! I was back to square one with the hope that I could complete the task by Veteran's Day in 2001.
This time I was going to make sure that the application, after signatures from the cemetery department and the town was delivered to Washington, DC. I hand carried the forms to Walpole, NH and had the signatures I needed, only to learn after returning to home that I also needed a signature from a local stone cutter who was willing to accept and erect the stone. Crossing my fingers I mailed the form to the stone mason and included a self-addressed, stamped envelope. I had the completed form in my hands just one week later. I then mailed the entire package off to Washington by registered mail with a return receipt so I would know when and if it arrived.
I patiently (OK, maybe not so patiently) waited for word from Washington. After three months I called to check on the progress. I was told that the stone had been ordered, carved and shipped that very day! The stone setter had received the stone the day before I contacted him. We set a date to install the stone the following Tuesday, 2 Oct 2001. I called my Mom, Hoxxey's granddaughter) and we arranged to meet at the cemetery on the appointed day.
The anticipated day was more than I had dreamed it could be. Actually seeing the stone hanging from the crane and being swung into place brought tears to my eyes. I felt that Hoxxey was right there with Mom and I. It was a beautifully simple stone - with his name, rank, company, birth and death dates prominently carved into the grey granite stone. We watched solemnly as the man lowered it into place, leveled it, and filled the area around it. He then washed all the dirt off the stone with such care that I knew he felt the same reverence for the man it honored.
Mom & I with Hoxxey's stone
Later that day I received a call from a reporter with the Keene, NH Sentinel newspaper. He had heard about the stone, and being so soon after the horror of September 11, 2001 he wanted to run a story about me honoring my great grandfather in the Veteran's Day edition. Mom and I met with the reported and talked about Hoxxey's life and the quest to mark the grave.We left some information about his Civil War Service and a picture - the same picture that had intrigued me over ten years before - with him and anxiously awaited the story. We didn't have to wait long!
On Monday, 15 October 2001 the story ran on the front page of the paper and the photo of the gravestone was in color on the front page! The story continued on page three where the photo that held my interest for 10 years was placed.
Four days after the article ran I received a letter from a woman named Molly, living in NH, stating that Hoxxey was also her grandfather! She too had never really had a chance to know him as he died in 1929 and she was born in 1924. She also put me in touch with another unknown cousin, Becky, who was also Hoxxey's great granddaughter! Relatives were coming out of the woodwork!! We made arrangements to meet at the cemetery the following week to meet each other.
It turned out to be one of those glorious October days in New England. The tress were aflame with color, the sun shone brightly, and there was a gentle breeze blowing - just enough to
flutter all the American flags on tall the veterans' graves. Amazingly Mom already knew Becky and her husband Bud. He was a visiting pastor at a church where my mother played the organ for summer services. Becky, Bud and my mother had met each other previously without even knowing they were related. Small world!Molly and Becky showed us around Walpole and indicated the houses that they knew had been occupied by Hoxxey and Teresa. More information I never would have known!
Just one week after my mother left for the winter to live in Florida I received another
letter. It was from a
man in Troy, NH who stated that he was 86 years old and knew my great grandfather. I immediately set a date to go to Troy and talk with him. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the house he lived in was the same house where that picture had been taken. The picture that so changed my life. Mr Tucker and his wife had purchased the house in 1944 when they married and he was as astounded as I was that it was the house my ancestors lived in when the 1920 census was taken. Other photos I had brought were taken on the porch I had just walked through to get into his home. I was stunned.
Mr Tucker relayed a story of a Memorial Day parade that Hoxxey, and three other Civil War veterans, had marched in. He said that each year one student was selected to memorize the Gettysburg address and recite it to the soldiers on the bandstand. He vividly remembered the year he had the honor of standing on the bandstand and facing these veterans, including Hoxxey!Hoxxey marching in a parade c 1925
Teresa and Hoxxey never had an easy life. Teresa buried all but four of her 15 children, including five within one month in due to the diphtheria epidemic of 1881, before she died in 1924 In the five years before Hoxxey died in
1929 he buried two additional children - only two of his 15 children outlived him. At least he was able to enjoy a few of his grandchildren in his final years.Hoxxey with granddaughter, Elizabeth Rogers
There is still much to learn about the lives of Hoxxey and Teresa and I know the adventure will be interesting, and at times frustrating, but I am sure the rewards will be worth every minute of the search. Telling their story helps to complete mine!
